When missionaries, myself included, near mission completion they create a list (perhaps only a mental list) of things that they are not going to do when they get home. Something like this: I'm not going to hang out with my old lame friends. I'm not going to go back to my old casual habits. Or it can be in the positive: I'm going to have amazing scripture study and personal prayer every day. Well, you get the idea.
Fail.
I said I would study. I said I wasn't going to lose that returned missionary sheen I'd earned by diligent study and prayer. Welp. I don't know if the sheen is still there or not, but if it is, it's not by my diligence. I have successfully let myself be distracted by a million good things that I have not spent the time and energy I needed on my personal studies or personal prayers. And boy do I feel it. I feel muddle-headed and irritable. I feel frustrated and judgmental. Why? Because I didn't put my armor on, so now I've got a bunch of fiery darts in places I shouldn't oughta have fiery darts. Sheesh.
Insert repentance here.
I guess I'd better change. Or I'm going to have to be stupidly muddle-headed forever. Here's the surprising part: I didn't stop studying, I just haven't done it an hour every day like I did in Missionary Land. I must really need a whole hour of dedicated study every day. I mean, some people need 4 hours of sleep, I do best on 9. I must be an hour a day kind of spiritual feeder. Snacking is just not enough. I can't read for 15 minutes here, listen to a few hymns there. Nope. It's just not enough for me. I need more. I'm stinkin' hungry here! And the road is steep, and the path is narrow, and there are fiery dart archers on either side of the path waiting to take me down. I'd better, at the minimum, make sure I've got my armor on and that I'm wielding my "Sword of the Spirit", or I'm sunk for sure.
I thought I'd already learned this. Welp. Gotta learn it again. Maybe I'll remember it this time, eh?
