I was reading Walden again a few weeks ago and ran into this. I can't stop thinking about it:
I went to the woods
because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts
of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not,
when I came to die, discover that I had not lived... I wanted to live
deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and
Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life...
Live deliberately, live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.
Remember how I was talking about tectonic plates shifting? Boy are they! Whole sections of continental shelf are falling into the ocean. I'm not losing cities or villages, I'm losing mountain ranges. Everything is changing. I keep saying that I feel like I just woke up. Well, I did. And I'm not OK with what I see. I wish I knew how to articulate it, if only to myself, but it's still kind of new. And not new. Some of it I've known a long time, but haven't known what to do with it. One thing's certain: It's time to fight. It's time to rout out all that isn't life. It's time to leave Jerusalem and beat it across the desert so I can build a stupid boat and get to my promised land. I will be leaving behind most of the traditions of my people, I will be abandoning the safety and security of "home", and I will be leaving behind those who will not come with me. And I will do it so I can build a new life and a new home in a new way. Sure as hell won't be "after the manner of men".
No more halvesies. I'm going to live my whole life. "We strong? Ya. We strong. Left hand, right hand, good job."
This girl is gonna climb.
